


Oh My God, They Killed Scottie!!

by Pdxtrent



Series: A Series of Unfortunate Chapters [8]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: 4th Wall Breaking, 4th wall bending, Constructive Criticism Welcome, F/M, Gen, Humor, I’m not sure it rises to the level of dead doves, M/M, Making fun of the budget, Scott dies but never stays dead, Scott is Kenny, South Park AU, tongue in cheek
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:53:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25144990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pdxtrent/pseuds/Pdxtrent
Summary: Honestly, this started with a vague idea I’d had about killing Scott in all the ways someone would probably die in real life in those situations, and morphed into like a South Park AU where Scottie just wont stay dead.I didn’t tag it major character death because he doesn’t stay dead, and the death is the point.Each chapter is basically self contained though they fit in the larger narrative as well. There are a couple of characters who are aware that there’s something very strange about Scott’s repeated deaths.I regret nothing.
Relationships: Allison Argent/Scott McCall, Derek Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Isaac Lahey/Scott McCall, Peter Hale & Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall & Stiles Stilinski
Series: A Series of Unfortunate Chapters [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2156343
Comments: 9
Kudos: 23
Collections: 101 Ways to Kill Scott McCall





	Oh My God, They Killed Scottie!!

As the last of the light of the sheriff search party faded away, the light of the weeks second full moon seems stronger to Scott. He vaguely remembered where Stiles had parked and he started trying to head back that direction.

Soon enough his surroundings looked unfamiliar, he didn’t remember climbing a hill when they were walking did he? 

He felt his chest tightening and he took a hit off his inhaler and felt it relax again, then glanced around. “Damn it Stiles.” He said, ignoring the knowledge that it was his decision to come along and again his decision to hide rather than face the sheriff, because he had some vague idea it was what the leading man did. 

Now all he could think about was the dead body that was out here somewhere, and the killer who’d left it there, and he realized it might also be what the second victim did as well. He heard a branch snap in the trees, then another. Looking up he saw movement and he took off running. Behind him he heard something crashing and then he pitched forward into the dirt as a herd of deer broke around him, one nearly braining him as it rushed past. He half laughed as the last one was passing him. It was only deer!

Standing up, he heard a deep growl, verging on subsonic so it was felt instead of just heard, and belatedly it occurred to him to wonder what might have spooked the deer into flight. He turned and saw the eyes in the distance burning like embers. 

“Oh no.” He said out loud staring at the glowing eyes. “I really thought I was the main character, but I might just be the hot girl who dies before the opening credits.” He sighed disappointed but accepted that his fate was cast and he should follow the narrative fate had set for him, and so he screamed. The figure rushed forward and as it jumped into the light he was surprised by its nebulous monstrous nature and poorly rendered graphics. 

“Fuck my life,” he said as the beasts claws dig into him, “I’m dying in a low budget teen horror show. God I bet this will be on the WB!” Then the monster tore out his throat and blood flew all around, and his vision faded to black.

The Sheriff* waved his flashlight around. Although he was a single father and should be home safely, due to the low budget nature of the show... err, county budget, he was out here in the middle of the night with the dogs looking for the body of a young woman who’d gone missing.

“Sheriff!” A deputy cried to his right and he glanced owlishly at the young man. He didn’t look familiar. Was this a different deputy than was there 15 minutes before. He shrugged. This was Beacon Hills and strange things happened here.

He stepped quickly to where the deputy was shining his flashlight. In its cold unforgiving light he could see a familiar face, and he knelt to confirm the boy was dead despite the gaping neck wound and said in surprise, “Oh my god, they killed Scottie!” 

“Those bastards!” The deputy said behind him. “We’ll find who did this sheriff!” The man added. 

The sheriff nodded and looked into the distance. “They won’t get away with this.” He vowed.

*The man is only the tired outline of an authority figure for the main characters to sneak around and avoid at this point, he won’t be deserving of a first name until after he either dies, or gets sucked into the supernatural horror show despite the main characters attempts to keep him in the dark for narrative tension.

Or both. Both is always an option here.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing humor is hard. Like, the first iteration of this opened with a mockery of the first line of Pride and Prejudice, but that didn’t work for this chapter (though I may use it in the future.) 
> 
> I wrote this to celebrate finishing chapter 12 of Nematons Shade, because it’s been a pain in the ass to get done, and I decided to reward myself. I put that there’s only 10 chapters, but to be honest there may end up being more, depending on how the ideas hit me.


End file.
